Visitations
by kylo-nen
Summary: Kylo Ren wishes he were strong enough, wishes he did not care what happened to the girl- a thud echoes through the room as his fist makes contact with the wall. He does not even know her name, why does this girl mean so much to him, yet so little? (Kylo Ren x OFC story. Pre-TFA which will move in TFA as the story progresses)
1. Chapter 1: Her

The Supreme Leader loomed over him, his holographic projection sitting atop a throne. From beneath his mask he avoids looking directly at his Master's face, his eyes a cruel imitation of those of a human. He knows why he has been summoned, he wishes it were not true, but he knew that this moment was inevitable.

"I have sensed a disturbance in the Force, strong… Too strong. Have you felt it, Kylo Ren?"

Kylo Ren's suspicions are confirmed after his Master speaks, and regrettably he answers, "Yes, Supreme Leader. I have felt it as well."

Nodding, seemingly pleased with his apprentice's abilities, "You will find them. The strength this person possesses cannot be permitted. If they prove sympathetic to our cause and show cooperation, return with them. If they resist… Kill them."

A wave of panic courses through his body, and it takes every ounce of self-control for him to reply, "Yes, Master," in a steady voice.

"You are dismissed."

Turning on his heel, Kylo Ren briskly walks from the room, his cloak swaying behind him. He must act quickly if he is to achieve his task. He will not need to look far or wide to locate the person causing the disturbance, because he already knows where she is. The girl is on Akiva.

Taking long strides, Kylo Ren walks to his quarters desperate to get away from prying eyes. Some of General Hux's troopers have already given him second looks since he has left the Supreme Leader's chamber. His erratic walking is causing unwanted attention, but alas he is almost to his destination. When he reaches his door, he punches in the security code and as soon as the door shuts behind him, he rushes to remove his mask. He begins to pace, his mind racing, trying to come up with something, anything to avoid what he has been ordered. To kill her. Kylo Ren wishes he were strong enough, wishes he did not care what happened to the girl- a thud echoes through the room as his fist makes contact with the wall. He does not even know her name, why does this girl mean so much to him, yet so little?

He knows why. Of course he does, he just does not want to admit it. How can one not develop… some sort of emotion towards another when they are in your dreams every night? How does he kill the one person he longs to see, after being completely and utterly alone? Weakness, his mind spits at him. Kylo Ren cannot deny this accusation, he is weak, but he cannot- will not- harm the girl. His grandfather would be ashamed of him, he thinks. But no, a different part of him thinks that he would not feel contempt toward Kylo Ren for his choice. He wants to protect the girl, not because of a pull to the light, but instead out of selfishness. Her force signature is unlike any other he's felt before, when he reaches into the ether he does not feel light or dark. Instead he feels balance, a state of homeostasis between both sides. He wonders if she feels the same as he does, he wonders if her soul is being ripped in two as she feels the call to both sides.

As he stands alone in his quarters, he makes his decision. He will leave for Akiva tomorrow. Alone.

 _She stands alone in the midst of a forest. In the distance, he can see the light of a fire through the thick of the trees. He turns to face her, she is standing in front of him, not appearing to take notice of his presence. He watches and waits for her to act, she is in control here, for Kylo Ren is only an observer to this dream._

 _Suddenly, she lets out of a scream of agony. He hears a sharp crack echo through the night. He looks around him to search for the source of the sound, and as another is heard he realizes where the hideous noise resounds from. Her bones are being broken inside of her. She struggles to stand from the pain, he can see it in the way her knees are shaking. He wants to go to her but he is afraid. Crack. Another scream is ripped from her lungs. Crack. She falls to her knees. He takes a step towards her, not wanting to watch this cruel scene unfold in front of him. His stride falters when her eyes snap up to his. His breath catches in his throat as she stares into his eyes. Crack. For the first time since he started having these visions, she speaks directly to Kylo Ren… "Help me."_

Kylo Ren jolts awake into a sitting position. His face is plastered with sweat, his hair stuck to his forehead and the back of his neck. His breath is coming too fast. He needs to leave right now. He shakes his head, ridding himself of the irrational thought. He needs to calm down and think. Think about what just happened. She saw him. In the many months that he has seen this girl in his dreams, never once has she acknowledged his presence, let alone spoke to him. Something is wrong, he can feel it in his bones. He cannot shed the worry that courses through his veins— was this merely a shared dream, or was this real? Kylo Ren cannot help but feel sick to his stomach at the thought of that actually happening to the girl. His girl. _His girl_? He is the Master of the Knights of Ren, he does not have a girl that he worries for. He worries for no one but himself and the First Order. Regardless, his mind supplies, you cannot kill her, you know that you cannot. Again he feels weak for his childish attachment to the nameless girl whom he has never met. But he knows in his heart that this girl will not come to any harm by his hand, and for the first time in his life, he welcomes this weakness.

Unable to sleep after the dream, Kylo Ren gets out of bed and walks to his closet. He finds his uniform and pulls it on, and then fastens his cloak around his neck. Walking over to where he removed his helmet in a hurry the night before he picks it up and places it over his head, he then pulls the hood of his cloak up. He fastens his lightsaber to it's place in his belt. He is ready.

He heads straight for the hangar without stopping. This mission is none of Hux's business, and the Supreme Leader does not care of his comings and goings. When he reaches his command shuttle there is a group of stormtroopers gathered around performing regular maintenance. As he approaches they all stand to attention, awaiting his command. With a wave of his hand the troopers disperse, no questions asked. Kylo Ren boards the shuttle and sits himself down in the pilots seat. This flight will not be easy without a copilot, he thinks, but he will be able to manage. If he brought anyone else, he would surely have to kill them to ensure their silence, and right now that seems too time consuming. He is anxious to get to Akiva, and that is all he can seem to think about right now. Flicking the controls on, he readies the shuttle, and in a few minutes he is taking off. As soon as his ship exits the hangar and is into open space a weight is lifted from Kylo Ren's back, only to be replaced with another. His mind is plagued with worry, he must get to her as quickly as he can. As soon as he is able, Kylo Ren puts the ship in autopilot with Akiva's coordinates programmed as the destination. He rises from his seat and makes his way to the back of the ship. He sits down in one of the passenger seats and removes his mask. He must think of a plan.

Kylo Ren is pulled from his thoughts by the alarm coming from the cockpit. They are approaching a field of debris. Buckling himself back into the pilots chair he changes the controls to manual. After what seems like hours of navigating through the debris, he finally clears the mess. He checks the navigation and sees that he still has hours until Akiva, so Kylo Ren decides to stay and manually fly the ship to pass the time. Besides, he already knows what he must do with the girl when he reaches her.


	2. Chapter 2: Weakness

As he walks down the ramp of his shuttle, Kylo Ren is hit with a wave of heat. He steps down onto the ground of Akiva and looks at the foliage around him. He is surrounded by jungle, and if he did not know better he would think himself lost. But he does know. He can feel her presence through the force, she is close. Very close. Removing his lightsaber from his side, he stops for a moment to center himself. Eyes closed beneath his mask he takes a deep breath and then he knows. Her presence in this forsaken jungle calls to him like a beacon, and he cannot wait a moment longer when she is so close. Without a final glance behind him, Kylo Ren heads into the thick of the trees.

He walks without hesitation, his body knowing where it needs to take him. When it feels as though he has been walking for hours he feels the presence of another close in proximity. His lightsaber which had been loosely gripped in hand is grasped more tightly, his finger posed to press the button which will ignite the shaft of the saber. Stepping more carefully now, his feet noiseless on the jungle floor, he emerges into a clearing. A small hut, or a shack really, stands in the middle of this clearing. He can tell by the still-smoking fire pit and the wet clothes hanging on a line that this is not an abandoned house. Cautiously he makes his way forward, stepping around the pit of hot coals to approach the door of the hut. She's here. He is sure of it. Before he reaches the entrance, the door swings open and a small sound escapes his mouth, almost a sob. It's her. She stops in her tracks when she sees who is in front of her, her mouth opening and closing, seemingly at a loss for words. If his entire being was not solely focused on this girl, Kylo Ren is sure that he would not have heard her say in a whisper, "It's you."

He knows that he has never appeared in her dreams with his helmet on, as he never sleeps with it on, so she must not recognize him by appearance. Perhaps, just as he can feel her throughout his entire being, she too can feel him too. He does not say anything in reply, his mouth does not seem to be in working order. He cannot move either, his entire body frozen. If he did not know better he would think that she had paralyzed him with the Force. But, in this situation he knows that his traitorous body is frozen on its own account. While he is unable to move, she does not appear to be suffering from the same affliction. With cautious steps, the girl approaches the Knight of Ren. Although she walks slowly with small steps, he can tell that she is not afraid of him. She must not know that she should be afraid of him, of the things that he has done. As he thinks this, another thought crosses his mind, one that reasons that she has no reason to ever fear violence from him. The closer she gets to him, the faster his breathing becomes. After what feels like a millennia, she is finally standing directly in front of him.

With shaking hands, she reaches up towards his face, and gentle fingers touch his mask right below his left eye socket. Although he cannot feel her touch, his eyes close at the contact, a shaky breath is released from his lips.

"Take off your mask," the girl asks, again in a whisper.

Her low voice is enough to send a shiver down his spine. Although he has heard it before in his dreams, hearing it in person is… indescribable. He knows that he should not remove his mask and show this girl his face, yet he cannot stop his hands from reaching up and pressing the latch. He knows that he is acting like a fool, he knows that he ought to be disgusted at himself for the effect she is having on him. But he pushes those feelings down, down into a place far from his present mind. Right now he is not Kylo Ren, he is something else… Someone else entirely. And since he is not Kylo Ren, he can allow his hands to lift the bulky mask off his head exposing his face to the girl.

Her eyes search his face, almost hungrily, taking in every inch of it. When her eyes meet his, she once again lifts a shaking hand and runs a soft finger tip along the curve of his cheek. At her touch, a shuddering breath leaves his mouth, and he could kick himself for making the noise. For showing her the affect that she has over him, for showing her weakness. He reminds himself that this is no ordinary girl, she is strong in the Force, stronger than anyone he has ever felt, excluding Supreme Leader Snoke. At this reminder he puts up walls in his mind, and schools his face into one void of emotion. In an attempt to collect himself, Kylo Ren takes a step back from the girl leaving her hand hanging useless in the air. She does not seem affected at the change in his demeanour, her eyes are still trained on his face, studying him intently.

"You are not afraid of me. You should be," he asks, his voice sharp.

His bravado does nothing to phase her, her face remaining impassive, eyes still searching his own.

Instead of acknowledging what he said, the girl simply asks, "How did you find me?"

Kylo Ren cannot help but become flustered at her complete dismissal of his threat, becoming angry at her ignorance. _Does she not know who she is speaking to?_ This girl, regardless of their connection, should be cowering before him and what he could do to her. Although her actions agitate him, Kylo Ren's curiosity is peaked. He looks into her eyes once more and his walls begin to crumble at the sight of the eyes that haunt him every night.

"I tracked you by your Force signature. I am very…familiar with it," at those last words, he feels colour rush into his cheeks without his consent. She seems surprised at his words, shocked even. Her face betrays her confusion with the scrunching of her eyebrows and nose.

"Y-you can track me through it? _How_ is that possible?"

Somewhat amused at her confusion, Kylo Ren answers, "The Force moves through every living thing. It moves within _you_. All that was required of me was to find your presence within the Force and follow it. Your power was like a beacon, I could not help but be drawn to you."

She nods her head slightly at his answer, and continues to scan his face. Her constant need to study his face unnerves Kylo Ren, he is so used to his mask creating a barrier between himself and others.

"Why did you come?" she inquires in a quiet voice, just above a whisper.

Before he can even begin to think of an answer to her question, he blurts, "You asked me to," shame floods through him at this admission, so he adds, "This is not the sole reason of my presence. Your power calls not only to me, but to my Master as well. He has sent me here to recruit you, or to kill you. But…I have no intention of recruiting you. Or killing you, for that matter."

He pauses expecting an interruption from the girl but she says nothing, apprehension flooding off of her in waves.

"You will come with me, I will bring you somewhere safe and you will stay there. Somewhere my Master will not be able to find you. I will come to you when I am able and I will train you."

The girl finally speaks, her tone disbelieving, "And then what? I stay hidden for the rest of my life? I don't even _know_ you and you expect me to leave my home, and go with you?"

Rage bubbles in Kylo Ren's chest, _she doesn't know him?_ Her dismissal hurts more than he would ever admit, even to himself. How can this girl have the audacity to say that she does not know him, when she is the one person in the world who knows him best? No one, _no one,_ has ever seen the parts of Kylo Ren that this girl has seen.

" _You don't know me?_ How can you not know a person when they have seen your mind, seen your worst fears, and seen you in your most vulnerable state?" He snarls at her, his chest rising and falling with accelerated breath.

She sputters at his acknowledgment of their relationship, cheeks colouring with embarrassment at his words. He can feel it rising inside of her, the Force flowing through her body, summoned by her anger. He probes the outskirts of her mind but does not enter it, wanting to understand why she suppresses her gift. As soon as he reaches out with the Force, he sees the change in her. Her back stiffens, and her features are tense. Based on her reaction, Kylo Ren knows that she is aware that he using the Force on her.

"You do not use your powers. You are afraid of them…" he can feel her unease at his words. Her mind, still open for him to see, sends more thoughts into the open between them.

"You are being torn apart from the inside out. The power you possess is strong, so strong. You know this, but still, you keep it contained and it is straining to be let free…"

With every word that leaves his mouth her body shakes, more and more, he can feel the anger radiating from her. He is unable to stop, since she refuses to use her powers, she is not blocking him from her mind. _Pain._ What he feels from her is pure, unadulterated pain. He does not mean to be cruel, but her pain is _his pain_ too, and he will do anything to stop it.

"I can stop it, you know. I can stop the pain. I can stop the dreams that destroy you every night. That destroy the both of us. You need to harness your power in the Force, take control over the pain and bend it to your will-"

He means to continue his verbal onslaught, but before the next words can leave his mouth, the girl is shouting at him to stop. As her yell resounds through the forest, Kylo Ren can feel his throat closing. His airways forced shut by the Force, _by her,_ he cannot breath yet he cannot resist her strength. He makes a chocking noise, unable to speak, and as soon as the sound leaves his mouth he is able to breath again. Taking gulping breaths, he stands stooped, with his hands holding his damaged throat. As soon as he recovers his breathing, he looks up to the girl and the look on her face is one of devastation. They stare at one another for a few moments, neither speaking or moving. She is the first to concede, her face crumpling as tears begin to leak from her eyes.

She takes a step toward him and before he can react the girl is in Kylo Ren's arms, clinging to him. Her hands are fisted into his robes as she presses her face into his chest, sobs forcing their way from her throat. Kylo Ren stands there unmoving, baffled by the situation he has found himself in. He would never allow such an interaction to occur under normal circumstances, but these are not normal circumstances. For in this moment, Kylo Ren wants nothing more in the galaxy than to wrap his arms around this crying girl and hold her tight to his chest. Never has he experienced these feelings in his entire life. These feelings were not unusual when he was Ben Solo, when he had a family, but Ben Solo is dead. Even though he will never be Ben Solo again, Kylo Ren is still a selfish being, uncaring for anyone but himself. What he wants to do, _craves to do_ , is to hold this girl in his arms… So he does.

Slowly he lifts his arms and hesitantly places them on the girl's back. At this contact, her grip on his shirt tightens bringing them closer together. A loud gasp escapes her when his hand tentatively begins to rub small circles on her lower back. When Kylo Ren hears her gasp, he is unable to help himself and he crushes the girl to his chest, his arms wrapping around her in a tight embrace. He continues his gentle motions on her back, and positions himself so that his face is buried in her hair, his mouth pressed tightly to the crown of her head.

Voice shaking, he whispers into her hair, "I don't know your name."

Kylo Ren doesn't know why, but in this very moment there is nothing more important to him than knowing her name. For months and months he has referred to her as "the girl," but now that he has been in presence that label falls utterly short because she is so much more than that now. He does not break the embrace as he waits for her reply, only continues to hold and comfort her, unsure of what else to do. He can sense that she truly is comforted by him, his motions on her back helping her to calm down.

"Astra. My name is Astra."

 _Astra._ A sensation washes over Kylo Ren, one that he can only describe as a swell of some sort of… emotion flooding through him. Again he is painfully reminded of the emotional fool this g—Astra has caused him to become. He knows that if he must protect her from the Supreme Leader he cannot allow this… foolishness to go on. He will be her teacher, nothing more.


	3. Chapter 3: Follow

Breaking their embrace, Kylo Ren takes a step back from Astra in order to gather his wits. As he brushes a hand down his robes, smoothing out the wrinkles caused by her tears, without looking into her eyes he order Astra to gather her belongings.

"Now? We're leaving right now? I just- You can't expect me to just up and leave my home behind?" her tone sounds exasperated, and Kylo Ren really doesn't have the time for patience.

"Yes, _now._ We need to get you as far away from here as possible. I will bring you to a place that is unknown to the Supreme Leader," his tone is clipped and short.

"But, this is my home— I need more time to-"

" _Home?_ You call this Force forsaken place _home?_ This is no home, this is the hole you have been hiding in. The hole that you _will_ die in, if you don't listen to me."

Astra seems unaffected by his attempt persuasion, so he decides he must take a different approach if he is ever going to get this stubborn girl off of this damned planet.

"Please, _please_ … Listen to me. _You will die here_ , I can promise you that. Just please come with me. _Astra…"_

At his mention of her name, her defiance is quelled, and with a huff of annoyance she turns around and heads back into her hut. He thinks about following her inside, to ensure that she truly is packing her things, but thinks better of it. Like she said, this is her home, and she deserves a proper goodbye. Through their connection he can sense her movements, and is reassured that she is indeed packing her things.

After a few minutes of waiting, she emerges from the hut carrying a small satchel over her shoulder. He cannot help but raise an eyebrow at the surprising lack of belongings she has, and for a moment he wonders if she is aware that she will never return to her home again. He shakes is head at that thought, and wills the melancholy that came with it away. _Her teacher, nothing more._ He must work on these feelings of his, for he will not be a good teacher for her if he is constantly worrying about her well-being. Which he reminds himself, he will not be doing. Attachment is weakness, and he must be strong if he is going to protect her from Snoke.

Beside him, a curious voice breaks him from his thoughts.

"Are you alright?"

Kylo Ren almost stopped in his tracks at the question. No one had dared to ask him such a thing in _years,_ not since he was still akin to the Light Side. Puzzled and somewhat annoyed that she was able to read him so well, he snaps, "Of course I'm fine."

With an odd tone in her voice, one Kylo Ren could not identify, Astra responds, "You didn't look alright. You looked sad…"

"Sad? Why would I have any reason to be _sad?_ You know nothing about me."

He could not stop the words or the harsh tone that came flooding from his mouth. This girl angered him, the way in which she acts like she knows him, even after she insisted that they were strangers. Astra does not respond to his anger, only continues to walk half a step behind him, trusting him to lead them to his shuttle.

Kylo Ren seats himself in the pilots chair of the ship, and buckles himself into the harness. Beside him, Astra is seated in the co-pilots chair, visibly struggling to put on the safety belt. After a few moments of waiting for her, Kylo Ren leans towards her with a sigh and swats her hands away. He untwists the straps where she had them twisted and clicks the buckle closed. When he raises his head from it's lowered position he comes face to face with Astra. He cannot help but notice that if one of them were to slightly pitch forward, his nose would surely brush hers. This thought causes him a moments pause, and after his eyes flicker from her lips to her eyes, he abruptly pulls back and situates himself as the pilot.

As he flips the appropriate switches to start up the craft, he cannot help but glance back towards her. Kylo Ren notes with satisfaction that he was not the only one affected by their close encounter, based on the flush that colours her cheeks.

After the ship has taken off and is flying at light speed towards their destination, for the first time since they had entered the ship Astra speaks.

"So where exactly _are_ you taking me? If you say I wasn't safe on Akiva, how can I be safe anywhere else?"

"I have somewhere you can stay, a cache of sorts, where the Supreme Leader will not be able to find you. Where _no one_ will be able to find you."

She slowly nods, taking in this information, and questions, "Where is this _cache_ you'll be taking me?"

"I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me? Are you _serious?_ That's completely-"

He knew she would not take this bit of information well, but this cannot be avoided. He raises his hand and cuts her off sharply, "I cannot tell you because you don't use your powers, you don't _know how_ to use your powers. You're mind is easily invaded, if I tell you where you are that information is free for Snoke to take from you if he comes to find you through the Force."

He could tell from her silence that she understood what his worries were, and the subject was dropped. The rest of the flight was spent in relative silence, the only conversation occurring when questions needed to be asked or answered. Kylo Ren cannot help but think of the girl from his dreams and try to reconcile her with the person sitting next to him. He has trouble with this task —he thought their meeting in real life might have been akin to the ones that occurred within their dreams. But sadly, he realizes that this assumption was not correct. He does not feel the strong connection with Astra when they are together in real life, and he wonders if they will ever gain back the bond they once had. _Or at least the bond he_ thought _they once had._ It's not as though they are not still connected through the Force, he feels her presence more strongly than he has ever felt from another. But it somehow feels _less than_. Kylo Ren thinks that perhaps this loss of feeling towards the girl can be considered a blessing. If he is not so strongly attached, training her and protecting her will prove an easier task. At this thought, his mind cannot help but supply the thought that maybe, even though their connection feels diminished, the feelings that he has developed towards her have not. Kylo Ren brushes that thought aside and returns his focus to flying the ship.


	4. Chapter 4: Comfort

Kylo Ren and Astra stand side by side as they await the descent of the shuttle ramp. As soon as it touches the ground, Kylo Ren takes Astra's elbow and leads her down the ramp and onto solid ground. He does not leave her ample time to take in her surroundings, walking briskly and stopping about 20 feet from where the ship had landed. To an unknowing eye, there was nothing particularly special about this clearing. But Kylo Ren knew better. Concentrating, he lifts a gloved hand and centers himself within the Force. With his will, a grass-covered rectangle rises from the earth, revealing a staircase. When the way is shut, it is almost impossible to find the seam of the door as it is covered in dirt and greenery. He glances sideways to see Astra's impression of the bunker, and he cannot help but feel a swell of pride at the astonished look on her face. Unable to stop himself from a small amount of preening, he adds, "The doorway can only be opened by the Force, there is no other way in or out."

She nods, mouth slightly ajar while still focused on the opening in the ground. Satisfied with her reaction he urges them forward. Contrary to his actions, Kylo Ren does not quite understand why he is so concentrated on approval and praise from the girl, when he is powerful without her acknowledgement. In his mind, he slashes at these thoughts with a knife—the thoughts this girl conjures up when he is in her presence are exhausting and trivial, he must focus on the task at hand.

Once they have descended the staircase, and the way is shut behind them, Kylo Ren removes his mask. Looking around her, Astra takes in the two hallways that are presented before her. Without a word, Kylo Ren walks down the second, and she hurries to follow.

"The other hallway leads to the weapons, training, and storage rooms," he opens a door to the right with the Force, "this is the kitchen," a door to the left flings open, "these will be your quarters," as they walk a third door to the right opens, "a living area," and finally they stop at a door at the end of the hallway, "these are my quarters."

Unsurprisingly, the door to Kylo Ren's room does not swing open. Turning around, Astra heads back down the hallway to her room and hesitantly enters the threshold. The lights automatically flick on, and she notices that the interior is very plain: grey walls, grey floor, black bed, black dresser, and a door to a crisp white bathroom. This place is cold and empty, nothing like the home she had made for herself on Akiva. This thought makes her wrap her arms around herself, missing the warm wooden walls of her hut and the ever-present hum of the forest. The air is stagnant and thick, and having been outdoors almost her entire life, it is thick in Astra's throat. Without warning, it hits her that most likely she will never return to her safe place among the trees, and the thought makes her hands shake. She can feel the presence of Kylo Ren lurking in the doorway, gauging her reaction to her new home. She believes that he is truly trying to help her, for she has seen the inside of his mind. But he still frightens her, she is not naive, she knows that he is a dangerous man. She has heard tales of the Force and the Jedi in her youth, and she knows who wears the dark robes and who wears the light. She will not take sides in this fight for now, and she will not condemn Kylo Ren for choice, he is saving her life and for now that is enough. In her dreams she has seen what lies within him, knows how different it is from his stark exterior. It is a shell, that is all. A hard, empty casing, protecting the weakness that lies within. Turning her head, she looks into his eyes for a long moment and he stares back. She tries to read his gaze, as he has been closed off ever since they arrived to their destination— but before she can determine what she sees, he is nothing but a streak of black around the corner.

A few moments after Kylo Ren had vacated the entrance to her room, the door swished shut leaving Astra in a cold, lonely room. She turned on her feet for a few moments, unsure of what to do with herself in this new place, when her eyes fall on the bed. Normally used to a mattress stuffed with straw, this bed looked _disgustingly_ inviting. Unable to resist the pull of a comforting sleep, Astra shuffled over to the bed and crawled beneath the blankets. She was out before her head even touched the pillow.

Kylo Ren stood, pacing the floor of his quarters rapidly. _What was he thinking bringing her here?_ He had no right to blatantly disobey— _no, betray—_ the Supreme Leader like this. He should have followed his orders and brought her straight to the Master as he was commanded, instead of committing treason and blaspheming the Supreme Leader for-for some _jungle girl_. What was he thinking? She is nothing, nothing in comparison to the work of the First Order, to the legacy of his grandfather. How could he have jeopardized his future, _his mission_ , for some sad girl he saw in his dreams? She is strong in the Force and her power must be fostered within the Dark Side or she must be eliminated as a threat. What does he, Master of the Knight's of Ren, care about a girl suffering in his dreams? He has ended lives, slaughtered villages, and he is compromised by _his dreams?_ He is a disgrace, he must fulfill the Master's wishes, he must—

His internal rant is interrupted by an image flashing across inside of his mind. _Red._ A vision invades his consciousness, this time more clear. _He sees the girl, Astra, being swallowed by a dark mass. The mass is moving, pulsing, and sloshing on the ground. Her legs are engulfed by the black matter, and she is being dragged into the heart of it. Ropes of the substance shoot from the mass and latch onto her arms. She is screaming and thrashing, and unable to move her extremities, she is helpless against the assault. Among her garbled shouts, he can make out one word, "Kylo."_

He is thrust from the vision abruptly, even staggering at the force of the repulsion. Before he has time to think of what he just saw, a scream echoes off of the metal walls of the compound, emanating from down the hall. Kylo Ren is on the move in a heartbeat, running towards the horrible sounds. The door to her chambers opens for him, and he rushes to her bedside. He grasps Astra's shoulders and tries to gently to shake her awake, not wanting to disturb her further. She jolts awake, her eyes unseeing, and she continues to thrash under his grasp.

"Astra- _Astra_ , it's all right, you're safe, it was only a dream-" his feeble attempts at comfort are cut short by the huge gasps that are being released from her lungs. Her eyes are now clear, but are flooded with unshed tears. Before he can even comprehend what he is doing, Kylo Ren reaches out and pulls the girl toward him. Slowly, he wraps his arms around her back and pulls her to his chest—she does not respond to the awkward embrace at first, but after a moment she tucks her head under his chin. He can feel her tears soaking his collar, and the press of her lips against the skin of his neck. He is not strong enough to suppress a shiver at the feel of her soft lips on his skin, and at his shudder, her small hands fist into the front of his robes.

As he holds her in his arms, he knows that he will not be taking her to the Supreme Leader. His weakness makes him sick, but the thought of this girl being anywhere else but in his arms far outweighs the feeling. He loathes to admit it to himself, but it makes him feel as though his soul would split in two.


End file.
